Salad Artist Gifts

The Joy of Greens.

Welcome to Ask Sadie. You're on, Vancouver. What's your problem? I met this really cool guy who makes my toes go numb … but I'd already been talking to another guy. The thing is, I want them both. Is that selfish? Excellent question. This reminds me of the time I went to the Sizzler salad bar. I wanted both the ranch dressing and the vinaigrette. So what I did was, I poured both of them all over my lettuce at the same time. Metaphor. No, just two. Wait ... what?

Tomatoes in the form of Toes

'Preparing rocket salad isn't domestic science, ladies.'

'The Queen says you make a royal garden salad.'

'Like death by salad.'

"It comes with a small Greek salad."

"The salad should be delicious. We ordered it with lots of extra bacon bits."

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

Surprise in the salad bowl

'I realize it's not on the menu but I'm on a diet and I'd like an air fern salad.'

"I don't bake, I don't cook, but I make one kick-ass vinaigrette."

"May I take your plate or are you still nibbling?"

'Thank you waiter - my wife's the rabbit.'

"Oh No!!!...Cap'n...Iceberg...Dead ahead!!"

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways … Open Mike Night Presents Sadie Cohen. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my ladle can reach … When feeling hungry for the crunch of crouton and ideal lettuce. I love thee to the level of every day's most quiet need ... by cheesy bread and chicken wing. I love thee freely, as men strive for right. I eat of thee freely, and then, at four, 'tis goodnight. O Sizzler salad bar, how do I love thee? I'm hungry.

"More croutons, sir?"

"Waiter, can you find out if this hair in my arugula salad is locally harvested?"

Cinema with a salad bar in its lobby.

An art director eats: 'Waiter! Does this lettuce say 'salad' to you?'

"We only do salads. There's no need to keep warning customers that the plates are cold."

"Might I recommend one of our salads? They come with three of your companion's fries."

'After you with the camouflage.'

Free salad bar.

"Good morning, Mother! We made you a desk salad."

Ranch Dressing

'If a tomato is a fruit, why don't you get it in fruit salad?'

"I'll just have a small salad. . . say 400 pounds of fresh river vegetation."

The Perfect Garden.

I can't believe I ate all that kale for nothing.

The First Vegetarians.

"I want a big-a*s salad."

Yes, the salad was vegan. In fact, we even offered it first to all the bunnies in the area, each of whom insisted that, no, he was quite full, and he'd like you to have it.

'The Chef's Salad isn't available today. She ate it herself.'

All you can eat salad bar has lifetime price.