Salad Artist Gifts

The Joy of Greens.

Tomatoes in the form of Toes

'Preparing rocket salad isn't domestic science, ladies.'

'The Queen says you make a royal garden salad.'

'Like death by salad.'

"It comes with a small Greek salad."

"The salad should be delicious. We ordered it with lots of extra bacon bits."

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

Surprise in the salad bowl

'I realize it's not on the menu but I'm on a diet and I'd like an air fern salad.'

'Thank you waiter - my wife's the rabbit.'

"I don't bake, I don't cook, but I make one kick-ass vinaigrette."

"May I take your plate or are you still nibbling?"

Cinema with a salad bar in its lobby.

"Oh No!!!...Cap'n...Iceberg...Dead ahead!!"

"More croutons, sir?"

"Waiter, can you find out if this hair in my arugula salad is locally harvested?"

'If a tomato is a fruit, why don't you get it in fruit salad?'

Free salad bar.

'After you with the camouflage.'

Ranch Dressing

An art director eats: 'Waiter! Does this lettuce say 'salad' to you?'

"I'll just have a small salad. . . say 400 pounds of fresh river vegetation."

"We only do salads. There's no need to keep warning customers that the plates are cold."

"Good morning, Mother! We made you a desk salad."

"Might I recommend one of our salads? They come with three of your companion's fries."

The Perfect Garden.

I can't believe I ate all that kale for nothing.

The First Vegetarians.

'It's great that you made your own salad, dear, but those aren't croutons, they're dog kibbles.'

All you can eat salad bar has lifetime price.

'The Chef's Salad isn't available today. She ate it herself.'

'Boy, when they say one trip salad bar, they MEAN one trip salad bar!'

"I want a big-a*s salad."

"Chef's special: tossed salad, no dressing. It's dress-down day."