Salad Artisan Gifts

"You know, Mark, your tabouli salad makes us look bad."

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

'Like death by salad.'

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

"It comes with a small Greek salad."

"The salad should be delicious. We ordered it with lots of extra bacon bits."

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

"He says that when he had a vegetable salad as an appetizer, he can now have burgers, pizza and Coke as a reward."

'I realize it's not on the menu but I'm on a diet and I'd like an air fern salad.'

'Preparing rocket salad isn't domestic science, ladies.'

Surprise in the salad bowl

Mrs. Robot attempts to improve her family's diet.

'Thank you waiter - my wife's the rabbit.'

"I don't bake, I don't cook, but I make one kick-ass vinaigrette."

'Diet considerations.'

"I had a Caesar salad for lunch, but that was two days ago."

"May I take your plate or are you still nibbling?"

"More croutons, sir?"

"Oh No!!!...Cap'n...Iceberg...Dead ahead!!"

"Waiter, can you find out if this hair in my arugula salad is locally harvested?"

Cinema with a salad bar in its lobby.

"I'll just have a small salad. . . say 400 pounds of fresh river vegetation."

"Might I recommend one of our salads? They come with three of your companion's fries."

'No - we really don't cater for vegans, even our salad dressing is made from sperm oil!'

Ranch Dressing

Free salad bar.

"Good morning, Mother! We made you a desk salad."

'If a tomato is a fruit, why don't you get it in fruit salad?'

"I'm pleased to say our dishes all have too much kale."

'You're eating too much roughage.'

"Who is having the 4 bean salad? Half portion?"

"We only do salads. There's no need to keep warning customers that the plates are cold."

The Perfect Garden.

I can't believe I ate all that kale for nothing.