Salad Designer Gifts

Gustav Mahler orders a salad.

"The tomatoes came from our neighbor's garden. Please don't tell him."

'Like death by salad.'

"First Lady Lettuce goes missing, then Colonel Crouton followed by Reginald Radish... Great Caesar's Ghost! Someone is making a salad!"

"It comes with a small Greek salad."

"The salad should be delicious. We ordered it with lots of extra bacon bits."

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

'I realize it's not on the menu but I'm on a diet and I'd like an air fern salad.'

Surprise in the salad bowl

'Preparing rocket salad isn't domestic science, ladies.'

"May I take your plate or are you still nibbling?"

'Thank you waiter - my wife's the rabbit.'

"More croutons, sir?"

Cinema with a salad bar in its lobby.

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways … Open Mike Night Presents Sadie Cohen. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my ladle can reach … When feeling hungry for the crunch of crouton and ideal lettuce. I love thee to the level of every day's most quiet need ... by cheesy bread and chicken wing. I love thee freely, as men strive for right. I eat of thee freely, and then, at four, 'tis goodnight. O Sizzler salad bar, how do I love thee? I'm hungry.

"Waiter, can you find out if this hair in my arugula salad is locally harvested?"

"Oh No!!!...Cap'n...Iceberg...Dead ahead!!"

" 'Unlimited salad bar' sounded better on the menu."

"We only do salads. There's no need to keep warning customers that the plates are cold."

Ranch Dressing

'If a tomato is a fruit, why don't you get it in fruit salad?'

Free salad bar.

'After you with the camouflage.'

"Good morning, Mother! We made you a desk salad."

"Might I recommend one of our salads? They come with three of your companion's fries."

"I'll just have a small salad. . . say 400 pounds of fresh river vegetation."

The Perfect Garden.

I can't believe I ate all that kale for nothing.

The First Vegetarians.

Salad Hat

Yes, the salad was vegan. In fact, we even offered it first to all the bunnies in the area, each of whom insisted that, no, he was quite full, and he'd like you to have it.

'The Chef's Salad isn't available today. She ate it herself.'

'Boy, when they say one trip salad bar, they MEAN one trip salad bar!'

"I want a big-a*s salad."

"Now hold on just a minute! Salad - fine! Chick flix - fine! But I draw the line on video games!"