Salad Stylist Gifts

"It comes with a small Greek salad."

A salad bar.

'Dressing the Salad. Why?'

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

'Like death by salad.'

"First Lady Lettuce goes missing, then Colonel Crouton followed by Reginald Radish... Great Caesar's Ghost! Someone is making a salad!"

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

"The salad should be delicious. We ordered it with lots of extra bacon bits."

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

'I realize it's not on the menu but I'm on a diet and I'd like an air fern salad.'

Surprise in the salad bowl

'Preparing rocket salad isn't domestic science, ladies.'

Mrs. Robot attempts to improve her family's diet.

"I don't bake, I don't cook, but I make one kick-ass vinaigrette."

"It's been 10 years Martha, why are we still eating quinoa?"

'Thank you waiter - my wife's the rabbit.'

'Diet considerations.'

"May I take your plate or are you still nibbling?"

"Oh No!!!...Cap'n...Iceberg...Dead ahead!!"

Vegetarian Restaurant: Choose Your Own Cabbage

'I didn't know it was a one-trip salad bar!'

"Some protein with my salad? Sure, put a 24 ounce Ribeye in it."

Cinema with a salad bar in its lobby.

"More croutons, sir?"

All-You-Should-Eat Buffet

" 'Unlimited salad bar' sounded better on the menu."

"Might I recommend one of our salads? They come with three of your companion's fries."

"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious day when you're ripe and not yet mealy?"

"I'll just have a small salad. . . say 400 pounds of fresh river vegetation."

'If a tomato is a fruit, why don't you get it in fruit salad?'

"I'm pleased to say our dishes all have too much kale."

'No - we really don't cater for vegans, even our salad dressing is made from sperm oil!'

Free salad bar.

Ranch Dressing