Salad Dressing Connoisseur Gifts

"Ranch, creamy Italian, French, or global?"

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

'Like death by salad.'

"First Lady Lettuce goes missing, then Colonel Crouton followed by Reginald Radish... Great Caesar's Ghost! Someone is making a salad!"

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

"Tell them we only have romaine!"

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

"It comes with a small Greek salad."

"The salad should be delicious. We ordered it with lots of extra bacon bits."

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

'Preparing rocket salad isn't domestic science, ladies.'

Surprise in the salad bowl

'I realize it's not on the menu but I'm on a diet and I'd like an air fern salad.'

"May I take your plate or are you still nibbling?"

"What!?! I like a nice salad every now and then, too. What of it?"

'Thank you waiter - my wife's the rabbit.'

"I don't bake, I don't cook, but I make one kick-ass vinaigrette."

"It's been 10 years Martha, why are we still eating quinoa?"

"I feel like I'm cosplaying as a salad bar."

'Diet considerations.'

Chef picking salad leaves from a hanging basket outside his restaurant.

"Some protein with my salad? Sure, put a 24 ounce Ribeye in it."

Vegetarian Restaurant: Choose Your Own Cabbage

'I didn't know it was a one-trip salad bar!'

"Oh No!!!...Cap'n...Iceberg...Dead ahead!!"

Cinema with a salad bar in its lobby.

"More croutons, sir?"

"Waiter, can you find out if this hair in my arugula salad is locally harvested?"

All-You-Should-Eat Buffet

" 'Unlimited salad bar' sounded better on the menu."

"I'll just have a small salad. . . say 400 pounds of fresh river vegetation."

'If a tomato is a fruit, why don't you get it in fruit salad?'

Free salad bar.