Salad Lover Gifts

'I can't figure out why I'm not losing weight. All I eat is salad.'

All-You-Should-Eat Buffet

"Now, who ordered the salad?"

"With me, salad has always been a salad-dressing delivery system."

"Nurse, I have a complaint. I asked for the house fressing for my salad and they put a bandage on it."

"My doctor want's me to watch what I eat."

'We've decided to split the Caesar salad.'

'He left it to me. Isn't a double Salmanazar of '55 Chateau Cheval Blanc the perfect match with the side garden salad?'

'We'll both just have the salad bar.'

Vegetarian Restaurant: Choose Your Own Cabbage

"It's been 10 years Martha, why are we still eating quinoa?"

The real reason salad aids weight loss

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

"Some protein with my salad? Sure, put a 24 ounce Ribeye in it."

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

"What do I recommend Sir? Well, looking at your waistline, I'd recommend a salad!"

All you can eat salad bar has lifetime price.

'How many vegetables died for your stupid salad?'

'Don't get me wrong, I like burnt salad.'

The famous Walled-off salad.

Food envy.

'I didn't know it was a one-trip salad bar!'

"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious day when you're ripe and not yet mealy?"

"Our businesswoman's salad is served in a hollowed out Blackberry."

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

Fuel pumps have salad dressing labels on them.

'Diet considerations.'

Caesar salad.

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

'Like death by salad.'

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

"First Lady Lettuce goes missing, then Colonel Crouton followed by Reginald Radish... Great Caesar's Ghost! Someone is making a salad!"

"Tell them we only have romaine!"

"The salad should be delicious. We ordered it with lots of extra bacon bits."

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"