Salad Bar Lover Gifts

'I've had a really hard day -- make it a two-trip salad bar.'

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

'Like death by salad.'

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

"Tell them we only have romaine!"

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

'I realize it's not on the menu but I'm on a diet and I'd like an air fern salad.'

Mrs. Robot attempts to improve her family's diet.

"What!?! I like a nice salad every now and then, too. What of it?"

'Thank you waiter - my wife's the rabbit.'

"I feel like I'm cosplaying as a salad bar."

"I had a Caesar salad for lunch, but that was two days ago."

"It's been 10 years Martha, why are we still eating quinoa?"

'Diet considerations.'

Chef picking salad leaves from a hanging basket outside his restaurant.

Cinema with a salad bar in its lobby.

Vegetarian Restaurant: Choose Your Own Cabbage

"Waiter, can you find out if this hair in my arugula salad is locally harvested?"

"Oh No!!!...Cap'n...Iceberg...Dead ahead!!"

"More croutons, sir?"

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways … Open Mike Night Presents Sadie Cohen. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my ladle can reach … When feeling hungry for the crunch of crouton and ideal lettuce. I love thee to the level of every day's most quiet need ... by cheesy bread and chicken wing. I love thee freely, as men strive for right. I eat of thee freely, and then, at four, 'tis goodnight. O Sizzler salad bar, how do I love thee? I'm hungry.

"Some protein with my salad? Sure, put a 24 ounce Ribeye in it."

'I didn't know it was a one-trip salad bar!'

Vegetables VS Junk Food.

"It's this trend that leads us to believe we should supplement our oil commodities with investments in some of the Earth's rich vinegar and crouton reserves."

All-You-Should-Eat Buffet

'I found this bag of salad hidden in the locker room - who's is it?'

"Good morning, Mother! We made you a desk salad."

Free salad bar.

Ranch Dressing

"I'll just have a small salad. . . say 400 pounds of fresh river vegetation."

'You're eating too much roughage.'