Salad Bar Strategist Gifts

"It's this trend that leads us to believe we should supplement our oil commodities with investments in some of the Earth's rich vinegar and crouton reserves."

'Like death by salad.'

"He was the one everyone called 'The Greatest.' Then one day, a stranger turned up in town."

"It comes with a small Greek salad."

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

'I realize it's not on the menu but I'm on a diet and I'd like an air fern salad.'

Mrs. Robot attempts to improve her family's diet.

Mayo-A-Mayo

'Thank you waiter - my wife's the rabbit.'

"May I take your plate or are you still nibbling?"

'I didn't know it was a one-trip salad bar!'

"More croutons, sir?"

Cinema with a salad bar in its lobby.

"Oh No!!!...Cap'n...Iceberg...Dead ahead!!"

" 'Unlimited salad bar' sounded better on the menu."

Free salad bar.

"Who is having the 4 bean salad? Half portion?"

Ranch Dressing

'You're eating too much roughage.'

"We only do salads. There's no need to keep warning customers that the plates are cold."

"I'll just have a small salad. . . say 400 pounds of fresh river vegetation."

'If a tomato is a fruit, why don't you get it in fruit salad?'

'No - we really don't cater for vegans, even our salad dressing is made from sperm oil!'

"I'm pleased to say our dishes all have too much kale."

"Good morning, Mother! We made you a desk salad."

"Might I recommend one of our salads? They come with three of your companion's fries."

The Perfect Garden.

I can't believe I ate all that kale for nothing.

"I want proof that I even need that much iron before I go eating all that spinach."

All you can eat salad bar has lifetime price.

'The Chef's Salad isn't available today. She ate it herself.'

'Boy, when they say one trip salad bar, they MEAN one trip salad bar!'

"I want a big-a*s salad."

"Liverwurst is down an eighth, egg-salad is up two and a half, and peanut-butter-and-jelly remains unchanged."