Salad Bar Savant Gifts

'Please help yourselves to the salad bar, folks.'

Peter's Pitas - now with pickled peppers.

"I come here for the pepper."

Happy Surrogate Thanksgiving

"I grabbed it away from Larry and seasoned it properly just in time. It's a rescue meatloaf."

Mrs. Robot attempts to improve her family's diet.

'Mustard, ketchup and mayo are all nice and creamy smooth. Why isn't anything being done about relish?'

"So we've managed to consolidate all our multinational 24 hour hotline support centres down to one Single Point of Contact... and here he is."

"It's this trend that leads us to believe we should supplement our oil commodities with investments in some of the Earth's rich vinegar and crouton reserves."

"Ah — excellent catsup."

'I didn't know it was a one-trip salad bar!'

'I tell you what: Thank goodness for tomato sauce...'

Sandwich snob.

'You're eating too much roughage.'

'No - we really don't cater for vegans, even our salad dressing is made from sperm oil!'

'Just bring a few hundred sausages, plenty of wine and of course your barbeque.'

"Who is having the 4 bean salad? Half portion?"

"I'm pleased to say our dishes all have too much kale."

'You're in trouble. Your confidential memo went toxic and so did that tuna salad.'

'I'm sorry, I can't reveal my sauce.'

"Chef keeps the secrets of his sauces close to his chest"

"What would make it perfect, egg salad or pastrami?"

Department of Redundancy Department - 'Hot Dog' Frank Wiener, Director

"The reason my salt is so expensive is because it's preservative-free."

"You know, Mark, your tabouli salad makes us look bad."

'Ketchup? You know that's an insult to the chef, right?'

"And I recommend to not get sauced."

"Let me guess. You want French and you want ranch?"

'I thought I'd try making marmalade. Do we have any marmals?'

'Will you get me those healthy eating booklets form the hospital? . . . I need something to start the fire to grill these bratwursts.'

"This means that my dad is climbing Everest with my cheese and pickle sandwich!"

'Boy, when they say one trip salad bar, they MEAN one trip salad bar!'

'Let me know when you're ready for the Great American tuna fish sandwich.'

'It's commendable that you only ate one slice of pizza, but when you're only cutting it in half...'

'Hank, I don't think this a good time to eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.'