Salad Bar Savant T-Shirts

'Please help yourselves to the salad bar, folks.'

Peter's Pitas - now with pickled peppers.

"I come here for the pepper."

Happy Surrogate Thanksgiving

"I grabbed it away from Larry and seasoned it properly just in time. It's a rescue meatloaf."

Mrs. Robot attempts to improve her family's diet.

'Mustard, ketchup and mayo are all nice and creamy smooth. Why isn't anything being done about relish?'

"So we've managed to consolidate all our multinational 24 hour hotline support centres down to one Single Point of Contact... and here he is."

"Ah — excellent catsup."

"It's this trend that leads us to believe we should supplement our oil commodities with investments in some of the Earth's rich vinegar and crouton reserves."

'I didn't know it was a one-trip salad bar!'

"I'm pleased to say our dishes all have too much kale."

'I tell you what: Thank goodness for tomato sauce...'

'You're eating too much roughage.'

'No - we really don't cater for vegans, even our salad dressing is made from sperm oil!'

Sandwich snob.

"Who is having the 4 bean salad? Half portion?"

'Just bring a few hundred sausages, plenty of wine and of course your barbeque.'

'You're in trouble. Your confidential memo went toxic and so did that tuna salad.'

I'd like it sliced thin for sandwiches.

'I'm sorry, I can't reveal my sauce.'

"Chef keeps the secrets of his sauces close to his chest"

"What would make it perfect, egg salad or pastrami?"

Department of Redundancy Department - 'Hot Dog' Frank Wiener, Director

"You know, Mark, your tabouli salad makes us look bad."

"The reason my salt is so expensive is because it's preservative-free."

'Ketchup? You know that's an insult to the chef, right?'

"And I recommend to not get sauced."

"Let me guess. You want French and you want ranch?"

'Will you get me those healthy eating booklets form the hospital? . . . I need something to start the fire to grill these bratwursts.'

'Boy, when they say one trip salad bar, they MEAN one trip salad bar!'

"This means that my dad is climbing Everest with my cheese and pickle sandwich!"

'I thought I'd try making marmalade. Do we have any marmals?'

'Let me know when you're ready for the Great American tuna fish sandwich.'

'Hank, I don't think this a good time to eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.'