Salad Savant T-Shirts

"Let me guess. You want French and you want ranch?"

Condensed chef salad

Mrs. Robot attempts to improve her family's diet.

"We're doomed."

Garden. Romaine Lettuce. Chicken sees her salad.

Trilby - 'Taffy makes the salad.'

"Who is having the 4 bean salad? Half portion?"

'I don't like bacon bits on my salad...'

Bottle Of Thousand Island Dressing going towards island.

'HEY! USE THE TONGS!'

Fred walks into a salad bar on the wrong side of the tracks.

'No - we really don't cater for vegans, even our salad dressing is made from sperm oil!'

'You're eating too much roughage.'

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

'Like death by salad.'

"First Lady Lettuce goes missing, then Colonel Crouton followed by Reginald Radish... Great Caesar's Ghost! Someone is making a salad!"

"I come here for the pepper."

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

"It comes with a small Greek salad."

'The vegetables sat in the crisper for hours...days...a whole week. Then suddenly, the drawer opened. A hand reached in, grabbed the kale, and all you could hear was the sound of...A Garbage disposal.'

"The salad should be delicious. We ordered it with lots of extra bacon bits."

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

'I realize it's not on the menu but I'm on a diet and I'd like an air fern salad.'

"I grabbed it away from Larry and seasoned it properly just in time. It's a rescue meatloaf."

'Diet considerations.'

"It's been 10 years Martha, why are we still eating quinoa?"

'Thank you waiter - my wife's the rabbit.'

"I don't bake, I don't cook, but I make one kick-ass vinaigrette."

"May I take your plate or are you still nibbling?"

'Mustard, ketchup and mayo are all nice and creamy smooth. Why isn't anything being done about relish?'

"Ah — excellent catsup."

'I didn't know it was a one-trip salad bar!'

"Waiter, can you find out if this hair in my arugula salad is locally harvested?"

Cinema with a salad bar in its lobby.