Salad Savants T-Shirts

"I'm pleased to say our dishes all have too much kale."

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

'Like death by salad.'

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

"Tell them we only have romaine!"

"It comes with a small Greek salad."

"The salad should be delicious. We ordered it with lots of extra bacon bits."

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

'I realize it's not on the menu but I'm on a diet and I'd like an air fern salad.'

Mrs. Robot attempts to improve her family's diet.

"What!?! I like a nice salad every now and then, too. What of it?"

'Thank you waiter - my wife's the rabbit.'

"I feel like I'm cosplaying as a salad bar."

"I don't bake, I don't cook, but I make one kick-ass vinaigrette."

'Diet considerations.'

"It's been 10 years Martha, why are we still eating quinoa?"

"May I take your plate or are you still nibbling?"

Chef picking salad leaves from a hanging basket outside his restaurant.

"Waiter, can you find out if this hair in my arugula salad is locally harvested?"

"Some protein with my salad? Sure, put a 24 ounce Ribeye in it."

'I didn't know it was a one-trip salad bar!'

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways … Open Mike Night Presents Sadie Cohen. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my ladle can reach … When feeling hungry for the crunch of crouton and ideal lettuce. I love thee to the level of every day's most quiet need ... by cheesy bread and chicken wing. I love thee freely, as men strive for right. I eat of thee freely, and then, at four, 'tis goodnight. O Sizzler salad bar, how do I love thee? I'm hungry.

"Oh No!!!...Cap'n...Iceberg...Dead ahead!!"

Cinema with a salad bar in its lobby.

Vegetarian Restaurant: Choose Your Own Cabbage

"More croutons, sir?"

All-You-Should-Eat Buffet

'I found this bag of salad hidden in the locker room - who's is it?'

"Good morning, Mother! We made you a desk salad."

Ranch Dressing

Free salad bar.

'If a tomato is a fruit, why don't you get it in fruit salad?'