Salad Bar Strategist T-Shirts

"It's this trend that leads us to believe we should supplement our oil commodities with investments in some of the Earth's rich vinegar and crouton reserves."

'Like death by salad.'

"He was the one everyone called 'The Greatest.' Then one day, a stranger turned up in town."

"It comes with a small Greek salad."

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

'I realize it's not on the menu but I'm on a diet and I'd like an air fern salad.'

Mrs. Robot attempts to improve her family's diet.

Mayo-A-Mayo

'Thank you waiter - my wife's the rabbit.'

"May I take your plate or are you still nibbling?"

Cinema with a salad bar in its lobby.

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways … Open Mike Night Presents Sadie Cohen. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my ladle can reach … When feeling hungry for the crunch of crouton and ideal lettuce. I love thee to the level of every day's most quiet need ... by cheesy bread and chicken wing. I love thee freely, as men strive for right. I eat of thee freely, and then, at four, 'tis goodnight. O Sizzler salad bar, how do I love thee? I'm hungry.

"More croutons, sir?"

'I didn't know it was a one-trip salad bar!'

"Oh No!!!...Cap'n...Iceberg...Dead ahead!!"

" 'Unlimited salad bar' sounded better on the menu."

"Good morning, Mother! We made you a desk salad."

'No - we really don't cater for vegans, even our salad dressing is made from sperm oil!'

"Who is having the 4 bean salad? Half portion?"

"I'll just have a small salad. . . say 400 pounds of fresh river vegetation."

Ranch Dressing

Free salad bar.

"Might I recommend one of our salads? They come with three of your companion's fries."

"I'm pleased to say our dishes all have too much kale."

'You're eating too much roughage.'

'If a tomato is a fruit, why don't you get it in fruit salad?'

"We only do salads. There's no need to keep warning customers that the plates are cold."

The Perfect Garden.

I can't believe I ate all that kale for nothing.

'Boy, when they say one trip salad bar, they MEAN one trip salad bar!'

"I want proof that I even need that much iron before I go eating all that spinach."

"I want a big-a*s salad."

"Liverwurst is down an eighth, egg-salad is up two and a half, and peanut-butter-and-jelly remains unchanged."

'The Chef's Salad isn't available today. She ate it herself.'

All you can eat salad bar has lifetime price.