Salad Bar Aficionado T-Shirts

"'One Trip Per Person', read the sign above the salad bar. Luckily for Dan, he had cheek pouches."

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

'Like death by salad.'

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

"Tell them we only have romaine!"

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

'I realize it's not on the menu but I'm on a diet and I'd like an air fern salad.'

Mrs. Robot attempts to improve her family's diet.

"Anybody who doesn't like our one-party system can go to Russia!"

"It's been 10 years Martha, why are we still eating quinoa?"

'Thank you waiter - my wife's the rabbit.'

'Diet considerations.'

"I feel like I'm cosplaying as a salad bar."

Last Chance For Reality

"What!?! I like a nice salad every now and then, too. What of it?"

"Hey, you gotta put that away- this is a laptopless bar."

Chef picking salad leaves from a hanging basket outside his restaurant.

'How about a nice saloon?'

"You're talking politics? Take it outside or online, but not here!"

"Some protein with my salad? Sure, put a 24 ounce Ribeye in it."

Vegetarian Restaurant: Choose Your Own Cabbage

'I didn't know it was a one-trip salad bar!'

Vegetables VS Junk Food.

"Waiter, can you find out if this hair in my arugula salad is locally harvested?"

"Oh No!!!...Cap'n...Iceberg...Dead ahead!!"

"It's this trend that leads us to believe we should supplement our oil commodities with investments in some of the Earth's rich vinegar and crouton reserves."

Cinema with a salad bar in its lobby.

"More croutons, sir?"

"I needed that. It's a swamp out there."

All-You-Should-Eat Buffet

"I'll just have a small salad. . . say 400 pounds of fresh river vegetation."