Salad Strategist Gifts

Anatomy of a Salad

"If you want extra virgin oil on the salad that's a £5 supplement...."

'Like death by salad.'

"It comes with a small Greek salad."

"The salad should be delicious. We ordered it with lots of extra bacon bits."

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

'I realize it's not on the menu but I'm on a diet and I'd like an air fern salad.'

'Preparing rocket salad isn't domestic science, ladies.'

Surprise in the salad bowl

Mrs. Robot attempts to improve her family's diet.

'Thank you waiter - my wife's the rabbit.'

"May I take your plate or are you still nibbling?"

Mayo-A-Mayo

"Oh No!!!...Cap'n...Iceberg...Dead ahead!!"

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways … Open Mike Night Presents Sadie Cohen. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my ladle can reach … When feeling hungry for the crunch of crouton and ideal lettuce. I love thee to the level of every day's most quiet need ... by cheesy bread and chicken wing. I love thee freely, as men strive for right. I eat of thee freely, and then, at four, 'tis goodnight. O Sizzler salad bar, how do I love thee? I'm hungry.

Vegetables VS Junk Food.

Cinema with a salad bar in its lobby.

"Waiter, can you find out if this hair in my arugula salad is locally harvested?"

"More croutons, sir?"

"It's this trend that leads us to believe we should supplement our oil commodities with investments in some of the Earth's rich vinegar and crouton reserves."

" 'Unlimited salad bar' sounded better on the menu."

Ranch Dressing

Free salad bar.

"We only do salads. There's no need to keep warning customers that the plates are cold."

"I'll just have a small salad. . . say 400 pounds of fresh river vegetation."

'No - we really don't cater for vegans, even our salad dressing is made from sperm oil!'

'You're eating too much roughage.'

"I'm pleased to say our dishes all have too much kale."

"Who is having the 4 bean salad? Half portion?"

'If a tomato is a fruit, why don't you get it in fruit salad?'

An art director eats: 'Waiter! Does this lettuce say 'salad' to you?'

"Good morning, Mother! We made you a desk salad."

"Might I recommend one of our salads? They come with three of your companion's fries."

The Perfect Garden.

I can't believe I ate all that kale for nothing.