Salad Strategist Pillows

Anatomy of a Salad

"If you want extra virgin oil on the salad that's a £5 supplement...."

'Like death by salad.'

"It comes with a small Greek salad."

"The salad should be delicious. We ordered it with lots of extra bacon bits."

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

Surprise in the salad bowl

'I realize it's not on the menu but I'm on a diet and I'd like an air fern salad.'

'Preparing rocket salad isn't domestic science, ladies.'

Mrs. Robot attempts to improve her family's diet.

'Thank you waiter - my wife's the rabbit.'

Mayo-A-Mayo

"May I take your plate or are you still nibbling?"

Vegetables VS Junk Food.

"Oh No!!!...Cap'n...Iceberg...Dead ahead!!"

"Waiter, can you find out if this hair in my arugula salad is locally harvested?"

Cinema with a salad bar in its lobby.

"More croutons, sir?"

"It's this trend that leads us to believe we should supplement our oil commodities with investments in some of the Earth's rich vinegar and crouton reserves."

" 'Unlimited salad bar' sounded better on the menu."

"I'm pleased to say our dishes all have too much kale."

Ranch Dressing

Free salad bar.

'You're eating too much roughage.'

"We only do salads. There's no need to keep warning customers that the plates are cold."

"I'll just have a small salad. . . say 400 pounds of fresh river vegetation."

'If a tomato is a fruit, why don't you get it in fruit salad?'

'No - we really don't cater for vegans, even our salad dressing is made from sperm oil!'

An art director eats: 'Waiter! Does this lettuce say 'salad' to you?'

"Good morning, Mother! We made you a desk salad."

"Might I recommend one of our salads? They come with three of your companion's fries."

"Who is having the 4 bean salad? Half portion?"

The Perfect Garden.

I can't believe I ate all that kale for nothing.

'The Chef's Salad isn't available today. She ate it herself.'