Salad Scholar Gifts

'It's great that you made your own salad, dear, but those aren't croutons, they're dog kibbles.'

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

'Like death by salad.'

"First Lady Lettuce goes missing, then Colonel Crouton followed by Reginald Radish... Great Caesar's Ghost! Someone is making a salad!"

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

"It comes with a small Greek salad."

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

'Preparing rocket salad isn't domestic science, ladies.'

'I realize it's not on the menu but I'm on a diet and I'd like an air fern salad.'

Surprise in the salad bowl

Mrs. Robot attempts to improve her family's diet.

'Diet considerations.'

"May I take your plate or are you still nibbling?"

'Thank you waiter - my wife's the rabbit.'

"It's been 10 years Martha, why are we still eating quinoa?"

'I didn't know it was a one-trip salad bar!'

Vegetarian Restaurant: Choose Your Own Cabbage

"Oh No!!!...Cap'n...Iceberg...Dead ahead!!"

"More croutons, sir?"

Cinema with a salad bar in its lobby.

"Some protein with my salad? Sure, put a 24 ounce Ribeye in it."

Vegetables VS Junk Food.

All-You-Should-Eat Buffet

'I found this bag of salad hidden in the locker room - who's is it?'

"Who is having the 4 bean salad? Half portion?"

'No - we really don't cater for vegans, even our salad dressing is made from sperm oil!'

"Good morning, Mother! We made you a desk salad."

"I'll just have a small salad. . . say 400 pounds of fresh river vegetation."

Free salad bar.

Ranch Dressing

'You're eating too much roughage.'

'If a tomato is a fruit, why don't you get it in fruit salad?'

"Might I recommend one of our salads? They come with three of your companion's fries."

An art director eats: 'Waiter! Does this lettuce say 'salad' to you?'