Salad Scholar Gifts

'It's great that you made your own salad, dear, but those aren't croutons, they're dog kibbles.'

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

'Like death by salad.'

"First Lady Lettuce goes missing, then Colonel Crouton followed by Reginald Radish... Great Caesar's Ghost! Someone is making a salad!"

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

"It comes with a small Greek salad."

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

'Preparing rocket salad isn't domestic science, ladies.'

Surprise in the salad bowl

'I realize it's not on the menu but I'm on a diet and I'd like an air fern salad.'

Mrs. Robot attempts to improve her family's diet.

"It's been 10 years Martha, why are we still eating quinoa?"

'Thank you waiter - my wife's the rabbit.'

"May I take your plate or are you still nibbling?"

'Diet considerations.'

Vegetables VS Junk Food.

"Oh No!!!...Cap'n...Iceberg...Dead ahead!!"

"Some protein with my salad? Sure, put a 24 ounce Ribeye in it."

'I didn't know it was a one-trip salad bar!'

Vegetarian Restaurant: Choose Your Own Cabbage

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways … Open Mike Night Presents Sadie Cohen. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my ladle can reach … When feeling hungry for the crunch of crouton and ideal lettuce. I love thee to the level of every day's most quiet need ... by cheesy bread and chicken wing. I love thee freely, as men strive for right. I eat of thee freely, and then, at four, 'tis goodnight. O Sizzler salad bar, how do I love thee? I'm hungry.

"More croutons, sir?"

Cinema with a salad bar in its lobby.

All-You-Should-Eat Buffet

'I found this bag of salad hidden in the locker room - who's is it?'

'No - we really don't cater for vegans, even our salad dressing is made from sperm oil!'

"Might I recommend one of our salads? They come with three of your companion's fries."

"I'll just have a small salad. . . say 400 pounds of fresh river vegetation."

Ranch Dressing

Free salad bar.

'You're eating too much roughage.'

"Good morning, Mother! We made you a desk salad."

"Who is having the 4 bean salad? Half portion?"

'If a tomato is a fruit, why don't you get it in fruit salad?'