Salad Judge Gifts

"I find your ruling on the avocado-grapefruit-and-pomegranate salad overly narrow."

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

"First Lady Lettuce goes missing, then Colonel Crouton followed by Reginald Radish... Great Caesar's Ghost! Someone is making a salad!"

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

"It comes with a small Greek salad."

Surprise in the salad bowl

'Preparing rocket salad isn't domestic science, ladies.'

"May I take your plate or are you still nibbling?"

'Diet considerations.'

"It's been 10 years Martha, why are we still eating quinoa?"

"Some protein with my salad? Sure, put a 24 ounce Ribeye in it."

Vegetarian Restaurant: Choose Your Own Cabbage

'I didn't know it was a one-trip salad bar!'

Vegetables VS Junk Food.

All-You-Should-Eat Buffet

An art director eats: 'Waiter! Does this lettuce say 'salad' to you?'

The famous Walled-off salad.

"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious day when you're ripe and not yet mealy?"

The Perfect Garden.

'He left it to me. Isn't a double Salmanazar of '55 Chateau Cheval Blanc the perfect match with the side garden salad?'

"I want proof that I even need that much iron before I go eating all that spinach."

'It's great that you made your own salad, dear, but those aren't croutons, they're dog kibbles.'

The real reason salad aids weight loss

All you can eat salad bar has lifetime price.

Eat your salad. Blurg! Now! Quick! Put it into my bag! Finito. Mother! You've started up your compost pile, haven't you? You make it sound so rotten!

"It's got lettuce and pickle...why can't we call it a salad."

'What! No garnish or side salad?'

Please be gentle, waiter. This is my first salad. I'm sorry, sir, but there's a reason they call it "roughage."

Gustav Mahler orders a salad.

"Now, who ordered the salad?"

"Would it help if I ate a salad?"

'We've decided to split the Caesar salad.'

"What do I recommend Sir? Well, looking at your waistline, I'd recommend a salad!"

"Sure, dead meat is good...it's just that sometimes I'd like a nice salad or a fruit cup!"