Salad Supporter Gifts

"Would it help if I ate a salad?"

Vegetables VS Junk Food.

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

'Like death by salad.'

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

"Tell them we only have romaine!"

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

"It comes with a small Greek salad."

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

'Preparing rocket salad isn't domestic science, ladies.'

'I realize it's not on the menu but I'm on a diet and I'd like an air fern salad.'

Mrs. Robot attempts to improve her family's diet.

"I feel like I'm cosplaying as a salad bar."

"What!?! I like a nice salad every now and then, too. What of it?"

'Diet considerations.'

'Thank you waiter - my wife's the rabbit.'

"It's been 10 years Martha, why are we still eating quinoa?"

Chef picking salad leaves from a hanging basket outside his restaurant.

Vegetarian Restaurant: Choose Your Own Cabbage

'I didn't know it was a one-trip salad bar!'

"Oh No!!!...Cap'n...Iceberg...Dead ahead!!"

"Some protein with my salad? Sure, put a 24 ounce Ribeye in it."

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways … Open Mike Night Presents Sadie Cohen. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my ladle can reach … When feeling hungry for the crunch of crouton and ideal lettuce. I love thee to the level of every day's most quiet need ... by cheesy bread and chicken wing. I love thee freely, as men strive for right. I eat of thee freely, and then, at four, 'tis goodnight. O Sizzler salad bar, how do I love thee? I'm hungry.

Cinema with a salad bar in its lobby.

"More croutons, sir?"

All-You-Should-Eat Buffet

'If a tomato is a fruit, why don't you get it in fruit salad?'

"I'll just have a small salad. . . say 400 pounds of fresh river vegetation."

"Good morning, Mother! We made you a desk salad."

Free salad bar.

Ranch Dressing

"Might I recommend one of our salads? They come with three of your companion's fries."

'No - we really don't cater for vegans, even our salad dressing is made from sperm oil!'