Salad Rebel Gifts

"I'll take a salad, add bacon bits, extra cheese, dressing, and powdered sugar, not lettuce."

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

"First Lady Lettuce goes missing, then Colonel Crouton followed by Reginald Radish... Great Caesar's Ghost! Someone is making a salad!"

'I ran out of sugar, so I used salt.'

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

Recipes from the Jean-Paul Sartre Cookbook

"I remember his last words were, 'Another bite and I'll burst!'..."

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

Garlic Free Zone.

Lockdown casserole

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

'The vegetables sat in the crisper for hours...days...a whole week. Then suddenly, the drawer opened. A hand reached in, grabbed the kale, and all you could hear was the sound of...A Garbage disposal.'

"The salad should be delicious. We ordered it with lots of extra bacon bits."

'Preparing rocket salad isn't domestic science, ladies.'

"Valet park only"

'and then stand in dish for two hours.'

Recipe involving the switching off of the smoke alarm...

"I'm unable to process this image."

'I never knew baking was such a violent activity. You have to beat the eggs, whip the cream, and mash the nuts.'

Toxic Waste Lorry/Toxic Additives Lorry

"Red wine with fish? Sometimes you really are a monster."

"It's my family's special recipe, passed down through generations on the cream cheese package."

'I had the recipe upside down, so it's beefed corn.'

Vegetables VS Junk Food.

Woman reads Nigella Lawson cook book: 'Add butter to the mixture, remembering to moisten your lips ... whisk for three to four minutes, pouting throughout ...'

Recipes.

'Just add eggs. That sounds easy.'

'I found this bag of salad hidden in the locker room - who's is it?'

"Which one of my fiendish offspring defaced the bordelaise recipe with SpongeBob?"

'This is not Hungarian stew.' 'We ran out of Hungarians.'

"If you liked tonight's meal, you might enjoy 'Making The Meal,' a documentary with outtakes and commentary when the cook ran out of eggs because someone put an empty carton back in the refrigerator..."

'Are you sure the recipe calls for a whole cup of good burgundy?'

"You betrayed her trust. You added spices to her soup. In Tia Carmen's eyes, you are an irresponsible youngster...and I don't blame her for doing this."

An art director eats: 'Waiter! Does this lettuce say 'salad' to you?'

'You don't appreciate anything I cook!'