Salad Rebel Gifts

"I'll take a salad, add bacon bits, extra cheese, dressing, and powdered sugar, not lettuce."

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

"First Lady Lettuce goes missing, then Colonel Crouton followed by Reginald Radish... Great Caesar's Ghost! Someone is making a salad!"

'I ran out of sugar, so I used salt.'

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

Recipes from the Jean-Paul Sartre Cookbook

"I remember his last words were, 'Another bite and I'll burst!'..."

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

Lockdown casserole

Garlic Free Zone.

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

'The vegetables sat in the crisper for hours...days...a whole week. Then suddenly, the drawer opened. A hand reached in, grabbed the kale, and all you could hear was the sound of...A Garbage disposal.'

"The salad should be delicious. We ordered it with lots of extra bacon bits."

"Valet park only"

'Preparing rocket salad isn't domestic science, ladies.'

'and then stand in dish for two hours.'

Recipe involving the switching off of the smoke alarm...

"I'm unable to process this image."

'I never knew baking was such a violent activity. You have to beat the eggs, whip the cream, and mash the nuts.'

Toxic Waste Lorry/Toxic Additives Lorry

'I had the recipe upside down, so it's beefed corn.'

"Red wine with fish? Sometimes you really are a monster."

Vegetables VS Junk Food.

"It's my family's special recipe, passed down through generations on the cream cheese package."

'Just add eggs. That sounds easy.'

Recipes.

'I found this bag of salad hidden in the locker room - who's is it?'

An art director eats: 'Waiter! Does this lettuce say 'salad' to you?'

"You betrayed her trust. You added spices to her soup. In Tia Carmen's eyes, you are an irresponsible youngster...and I don't blame her for doing this."

'This is not Hungarian stew.' 'We ran out of Hungarians.'

"Which one of my fiendish offspring defaced the bordelaise recipe with SpongeBob?"

'Are you sure the recipe calls for a whole cup of good burgundy?'

'I made a substitute in the recipe. Take-out.'

'You don't appreciate anything I cook!'

"If you liked tonight's meal, you might enjoy 'Making The Meal,' a documentary with outtakes and commentary when the cook ran out of eggs because someone put an empty carton back in the refrigerator..."