Salad Humorist Gifts

"More salad?"

'Like death by salad.'

"It comes with a small Greek salad."

"The salad should be delicious. We ordered it with lots of extra bacon bits."

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

'I realize it's not on the menu but I'm on a diet and I'd like an air fern salad.'

Surprise in the salad bowl

'Preparing rocket salad isn't domestic science, ladies.'

'Thank you waiter - my wife's the rabbit.'

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways … Open Mike Night Presents Sadie Cohen. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my ladle can reach … When feeling hungry for the crunch of crouton and ideal lettuce. I love thee to the level of every day's most quiet need ... by cheesy bread and chicken wing. I love thee freely, as men strive for right. I eat of thee freely, and then, at four, 'tis goodnight. O Sizzler salad bar, how do I love thee? I'm hungry.

"Oh No!!!...Cap'n...Iceberg...Dead ahead!!"

Cinema with a salad bar in its lobby.

Vegetables VS Junk Food.

"More croutons, sir?"

"I'll just have a small salad. . . say 400 pounds of fresh river vegetation."

An art director eats: 'Waiter! Does this lettuce say 'salad' to you?'

Ranch Dressing

Free salad bar.

'If a tomato is a fruit, why don't you get it in fruit salad?'

"Good morning, Mother! We made you a desk salad."

"Might I recommend one of our salads? They come with three of your companion's fries."

Waiter: 'Your Tossed salad Ma'am.'

The Perfect Garden.

'The Chef's Salad isn't available today. She ate it herself.'

"I want proof that I even need that much iron before I go eating all that spinach."

Yes, the salad was vegan. In fact, we even offered it first to all the bunnies in the area, each of whom insisted that, no, he was quite full, and he'd like you to have it.

All you can eat salad bar has lifetime price.

"I want a big-a*s salad."

'It's great that you made your own salad, dear, but those aren't croutons, they're dog kibbles.'

"Chef's special: tossed salad, no dressing. It's dress-down day."

'The salad bar's coming in early this year!!'

I've been on this green leafy diet for months...

"So who gets the rib eye and who gets the salad?"

'Go ask Caesar what he wants in his salad.'

Spring Onion