Salad Sociologist Gifts

"Sure, dead meat is good...it's just that sometimes I'd like a nice salad or a fruit cup!"

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

'Like death by salad.'

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

"It comes with a small Greek salad."

"The salad should be delicious. We ordered it with lots of extra bacon bits."

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

'I realize it's not on the menu but I'm on a diet and I'd like an air fern salad.'

'Preparing rocket salad isn't domestic science, ladies.'

Surprise in the salad bowl

'Diet considerations.'

'Thank you waiter - my wife's the rabbit.'

"It's been 10 years Martha, why are we still eating quinoa?"

Vegetarian Restaurant: Choose Your Own Cabbage

"Oh No!!!...Cap'n...Iceberg...Dead ahead!!"

"Some protein with my salad? Sure, put a 24 ounce Ribeye in it."

'I didn't know it was a one-trip salad bar!'

"More croutons, sir?"

Vegetables VS Junk Food.

Cinema with a salad bar in its lobby.

All-You-Should-Eat Buffet

"Good morning, Mother! We made you a desk salad."

"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious day when you're ripe and not yet mealy?"

Waiter: 'Your Tossed salad Ma'am.'

"Might I recommend one of our salads? They come with three of your companion's fries."

Ranch Dressing

Free salad bar.

"I'll just have a small salad. . . say 400 pounds of fresh river vegetation."

The famous Walled-off salad.

An art director eats: 'Waiter! Does this lettuce say 'salad' to you?'

'If a tomato is a fruit, why don't you get it in fruit salad?'

'After you with the camouflage.'

The First Vegetarians.

'He left it to me. Isn't a double Salmanazar of '55 Chateau Cheval Blanc the perfect match with the side garden salad?'