Salad Scientist Gifts

Stupid blue-nosed spring onions.

"Now, which one of the Thousand Islands is this?"

'Thousand Island.'

'Like death by salad.'

"First Lady Lettuce goes missing, then Colonel Crouton followed by Reginald Radish... Great Caesar's Ghost! Someone is making a salad!"

"It comes with a small Greek salad."

"The salad should be delicious. We ordered it with lots of extra bacon bits."

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

'I realize it's not on the menu but I'm on a diet and I'd like an air fern salad.'

'Preparing rocket salad isn't domestic science, ladies.'

Surprise in the salad bowl

'Thank you waiter - my wife's the rabbit.'

"May I take your plate or are you still nibbling?"

"Waiter, can you find out if this hair in my arugula salad is locally harvested?"

Vegetables VS Junk Food.

"Oh No!!!...Cap'n...Iceberg...Dead ahead!!"

Cinema with a salad bar in its lobby.

"More croutons, sir?"

Ranch Dressing

An art director eats: 'Waiter! Does this lettuce say 'salad' to you?'

Free salad bar.

"I'll just have a small salad. . . say 400 pounds of fresh river vegetation."

'If a tomato is a fruit, why don't you get it in fruit salad?'

"We only do salads. There's no need to keep warning customers that the plates are cold."

"I'm pleased to say our dishes all have too much kale."

"Good morning, Mother! We made you a desk salad."

"Might I recommend one of our salads? They come with three of your companion's fries."

I can't believe I ate all that kale for nothing.

"I want proof that I even need that much iron before I go eating all that spinach."

All you can eat salad bar has lifetime price.

'It's great that you made your own salad, dear, but those aren't croutons, they're dog kibbles.'

'The Chef's Salad isn't available today. She ate it herself.'

"I want a big-a*s salad."

'Boy, when they say one trip salad bar, they MEAN one trip salad bar!'

"Chef's special: tossed salad, no dressing. It's dress-down day."