Salad Scientist Pillows

Stupid blue-nosed spring onions.

"Now, which one of the Thousand Islands is this?"

'Thousand Island.'

'Like death by salad.'

"First Lady Lettuce goes missing, then Colonel Crouton followed by Reginald Radish... Great Caesar's Ghost! Someone is making a salad!"

"It comes with a small Greek salad."

"The salad should be delicious. We ordered it with lots of extra bacon bits."

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

'I realize it's not on the menu but I'm on a diet and I'd like an air fern salad.'

Surprise in the salad bowl

'Preparing rocket salad isn't domestic science, ladies.'

'Thank you waiter - my wife's the rabbit.'

"May I take your plate or are you still nibbling?"

"Oh No!!!...Cap'n...Iceberg...Dead ahead!!"

"Waiter, can you find out if this hair in my arugula salad is locally harvested?"

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways … Open Mike Night Presents Sadie Cohen. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my ladle can reach … When feeling hungry for the crunch of crouton and ideal lettuce. I love thee to the level of every day's most quiet need ... by cheesy bread and chicken wing. I love thee freely, as men strive for right. I eat of thee freely, and then, at four, 'tis goodnight. O Sizzler salad bar, how do I love thee? I'm hungry.

"More croutons, sir?"

Vegetables VS Junk Food.

Cinema with a salad bar in its lobby.

Free salad bar.

"I'll just have a small salad. . . say 400 pounds of fresh river vegetation."

Ranch Dressing

An art director eats: 'Waiter! Does this lettuce say 'salad' to you?'

"Good morning, Mother! We made you a desk salad."

"Might I recommend one of our salads? They come with three of your companion's fries."

"We only do salads. There's no need to keep warning customers that the plates are cold."

'If a tomato is a fruit, why don't you get it in fruit salad?'

"I'm pleased to say our dishes all have too much kale."

I can't believe I ate all that kale for nothing.

"I want a big-a*s salad."

"I want proof that I even need that much iron before I go eating all that spinach."

All you can eat salad bar has lifetime price.

'The Chef's Salad isn't available today. She ate it herself.'

"Now hold on just a minute! Salad - fine! Chick flix - fine! But I draw the line on video games!"

Yes, the salad was vegan. In fact, we even offered it first to all the bunnies in the area, each of whom insisted that, no, he was quite full, and he'd like you to have it.