Salad Slapstick Lover Gifts

Waiter: 'Your Tossed salad Ma'am.'

"I said the males were 'evolving' – I didn't say they were 'maturing.'"

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

'Like death by salad.'

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

Beware of Falling Notice.

Little girl hoses down walkway as Santa slips and falls

Acme. Breakable prop transporter.

"I don't know whether to be mad that you had water this whole time or impressed with your commitment to the joke."

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

'Preparing rocket salad isn't domestic science, ladies.'

'I realize it's not on the menu but I'm on a diet and I'd like an air fern salad.'

'Diet considerations.'

"Would you like to try them out?"

"It's been 10 years Martha, why are we still eating quinoa?"

'Thank you waiter - my wife's the rabbit.'

'Walk upright?. . . But what about banana peels?'

"Some protein with my salad? Sure, put a 24 ounce Ribeye in it."

Dramedy: "I'm leaving you."

"More croutons, sir?"

'I didn't know it was a one-trip salad bar!'

Vegetarian Restaurant: Choose Your Own Cabbage

Vegetables VS Junk Food.

"Oh No!!!...Cap'n...Iceberg...Dead ahead!!"

Cinema with a salad bar in its lobby.

All-You-Should-Eat Buffet

"Never mind your technology, in my day we had to deliver our jokes by hand!"

Ranch Dressing

Free salad bar.

"Good morning, Mother! We made you a desk salad."

"I'll just have a small salad. . . say 400 pounds of fresh river vegetation."

'If a tomato is a fruit, why don't you get it in fruit salad?'

Moebot