Salad Slapstick Lover T-Shirts

Waiter: 'Your Tossed salad Ma'am.'

"I said the males were 'evolving' – I didn't say they were 'maturing.'"

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

'Like death by salad.'

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

Mayhem, Inc. Part 29

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

Beware of Falling Notice.

Acme. Breakable prop transporter.

Little girl hoses down walkway as Santa slips and falls

"I don't know whether to be mad that you had water this whole time or impressed with your commitment to the joke."

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

'I realize it's not on the menu but I'm on a diet and I'd like an air fern salad.'

'Preparing rocket salad isn't domestic science, ladies.'

'Thank you waiter - my wife's the rabbit.'

'Diet considerations.'

"It's been 10 years Martha, why are we still eating quinoa?"

"Would you like to try them out?"

'Walk upright?. . . But what about banana peels?'

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways … Open Mike Night Presents Sadie Cohen. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my ladle can reach … When feeling hungry for the crunch of crouton and ideal lettuce. I love thee to the level of every day's most quiet need ... by cheesy bread and chicken wing. I love thee freely, as men strive for right. I eat of thee freely, and then, at four, 'tis goodnight. O Sizzler salad bar, how do I love thee? I'm hungry.

Dramedy: "I'm leaving you."

Vegetables VS Junk Food.

Vegetarian Restaurant: Choose Your Own Cabbage

"Oh No!!!...Cap'n...Iceberg...Dead ahead!!"

"Some protein with my salad? Sure, put a 24 ounce Ribeye in it."

"More croutons, sir?"

Cinema with a salad bar in its lobby.

'I didn't know it was a one-trip salad bar!'

All-You-Should-Eat Buffet

"Never mind your technology, in my day we had to deliver our jokes by hand!"

Free salad bar.

Ranch Dressing

"I'll just have a small salad. . . say 400 pounds of fresh river vegetation."

"Good morning, Mother! We made you a desk salad."

'If a tomato is a fruit, why don't you get it in fruit salad?'