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'Alice through the looking glass,'

"Never mind your technology, in my day we had to deliver our jokes by hand!"

'Hold on, here he comes now, now.'

'We better pick this up before somebody slips.'

The discovery of fire and comedy

"Call a doctor, Mike..."

"Well, I'm sure you don't need me to tell you that you failed last week's audition."

"Trust me, boss, he knows his pies...he just needs more retraining."

Flooring Specialist

STRIP Skier hitting a telegraph pole

'Happy Slapping - I blame The Three Stooges'

Figure Skating: Dee Thumble,

"If Timmy Had a Wiener Dog"

Freudian slip

Unserious conditions: Bart shaped bruise, Multiple banana wounds, Radioactive buttocks.

True History Isaac Newton. Well, I discovered gravity, but this will make a very embarrassing story.

All right

Boomeringue. (Published originally on NOvember 10, 2010.)

"Is that a piano?"

Bunfight at the O.K. Corral

Trump - The curly years

"I said the males were 'evolving' – I didn't say they were 'maturing.'"

'Let's see here... Mr. Stevens... it says you slipped in the tub and hit your head.'

Mayhem, Inc. Part 29

Beware of Falling Notice.

Acme. Breakable prop transporter.

Little girl hoses down walkway as Santa slips and falls

"Take two pies to the face and call me in the morning."

"I don't know whether to be mad that you had water this whole time or impressed with your commitment to the joke."

"I was ironing the curtains and fell out of the window..!"

Shaving

"Would you like to try them out?"

'Walk upright?. . . But what about banana peels?'

Dramedy: "I'm leaving you."

'Hey! Make sure those boots are muddy before you set foot in here,mister! Took me all morning to get this place filthy!'