Salad Connoisseur Gifts

"Waiter, can you find out if this hair in my arugula salad is locally harvested?"

T-Rex at the Salad Bar.

"Now hold on just a minute! Salad - fine! Chick flix - fine! But I draw the line on video games!"

'One thing about your salads, I learn a lot about insects. You forgot to wash the lettuce again!'

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

'Like death by salad.'

"First Lady Lettuce goes missing, then Colonel Crouton followed by Reginald Radish... Great Caesar's Ghost! Someone is making a salad!"

"Tell them we only have romaine!"

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

"The salad should be delicious. We ordered it with lots of extra bacon bits."

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

'I realize it's not on the menu but I'm on a diet and I'd like an air fern salad.'

'Preparing rocket salad isn't domestic science, ladies.'

"May I take your plate or are you still nibbling?"

"It's been 10 years Martha, why are we still eating quinoa?"

'Thank you waiter - my wife's the rabbit.'

"What!?! I like a nice salad every now and then, too. What of it?"

"I feel like I'm cosplaying as a salad bar."

'Diet considerations.'

Chef picking salad leaves from a hanging basket outside his restaurant.

Vegetarian Restaurant: Choose Your Own Cabbage

'I didn't know it was a one-trip salad bar!'

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways … Open Mike Night Presents Sadie Cohen. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my ladle can reach … When feeling hungry for the crunch of crouton and ideal lettuce. I love thee to the level of every day's most quiet need ... by cheesy bread and chicken wing. I love thee freely, as men strive for right. I eat of thee freely, and then, at four, 'tis goodnight. O Sizzler salad bar, how do I love thee? I'm hungry.

Cinema with a salad bar in its lobby.

"More croutons, sir?"

Dave's Hamburger Shop

"Oh No!!!...Cap'n...Iceberg...Dead ahead!!"

"Some protein with my salad? Sure, put a 24 ounce Ribeye in it."

All-You-Should-Eat Buffet

'If a tomato is a fruit, why don't you get it in fruit salad?'

"Good morning, Mother! We made you a desk salad."

Free salad bar.