Salad Connoisseur Gifts

"Waiter, can you find out if this hair in my arugula salad is locally harvested?"

T-Rex at the Salad Bar.

'One thing about your salads, I learn a lot about insects. You forgot to wash the lettuce again!'

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

'Like death by salad.'

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

"First Lady Lettuce goes missing, then Colonel Crouton followed by Reginald Radish... Great Caesar's Ghost! Someone is making a salad!"

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

"Tell them we only have romaine!"

"The salad should be delicious. We ordered it with lots of extra bacon bits."

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

'Preparing rocket salad isn't domestic science, ladies.'

'I realize it's not on the menu but I'm on a diet and I'd like an air fern salad.'

'Thank you waiter - my wife's the rabbit.'

'Diet considerations.'

"It's been 10 years Martha, why are we still eating quinoa?"

"I feel like I'm cosplaying as a salad bar."

"May I take your plate or are you still nibbling?"

"What!?! I like a nice salad every now and then, too. What of it?"

Chef picking salad leaves from a hanging basket outside his restaurant.

Dave's Hamburger Shop

"Some protein with my salad? Sure, put a 24 ounce Ribeye in it."

Vegetarian Restaurant: Choose Your Own Cabbage

"More croutons, sir?"

'I didn't know it was a one-trip salad bar!'

Cinema with a salad bar in its lobby.

"Oh No!!!...Cap'n...Iceberg...Dead ahead!!"

All-You-Should-Eat Buffet

Free salad bar.

"I'll just have a small salad. . . say 400 pounds of fresh river vegetation."

"Good morning, Mother! We made you a desk salad."

Ranch Dressing

'If a tomato is a fruit, why don't you get it in fruit salad?'