Salad Satirists Pillows

Afloat, only 20% of iceberg lettuce is visible.

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

"It comes with a small Greek salad."

Fly Tastings: 'Notice that hint of dog fur and then let that full bodied garbage finish unfold.'

'Preparing rocket salad isn't domestic science, ladies.'

'If you order...You can digest it in...'

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

"Actually, it wasn't so bad. One minute I was standing in line at the slaughterhouse...The next thing I knew, I was being basted in my own juices..."

Bumper Stickers on a Cowboy's Horse

Beef Stew.

"I'm pleased to say our dishes all have too much kale."

"And here you have a brown thing next to something greenish, with some sort of brown runny stuff underneath it."

An art director eats: 'Waiter! Does this lettuce say 'salad' to you?'

'In case of fire, don't panic. Pay your bill then leave.'

Waiter: 'Your Tossed salad Ma'am.'

'Are these mushrooms or toadstools? And why are you holding a stomach pump?.'

'People soup again?'

'It's great that you made your own salad, dear, but those aren't croutons, they're dog kibbles.'

"I want proof that I even need that much iron before I go eating all that spinach."

Breakfast cereal in the Treasury.

The real reason salad aids weight loss

"I'm on a diet. Mini-size it!"

Farmed Salmon Restaurant - Everyone squashed together.

Outsaucing - A dollop of sauce has been put on a customer's plate from a long arm from afar.

"It's got lettuce and pickle...why can't we call it a salad."

'What! No garnish or side salad?'

Hot Dog... Flavored meat-like substances

The 60 Hour Gourmet Recipe For People Who Have Time To Spare And Then Some.

'The Cod's off, but you can have whale and chips.'

'Tonight you will be enjoying Howard, a happily raised free range chicken slaughtered no ten miles from here. He is accompanied by his wife, Lily, who ironically sautes opposite your own wife.'

'Trying to sell these things is like flogging a dead horse.'

'And the winner for best supporting animal in a frozen ready meal goes to...'

"It makes me feel sort of... guilty!"

Tomatoes in the form of Toes