Salad Skeptics Gifts

'Ill have the salad. But could I have it made out of chocolate?'

"I used to take photos of my meals, but once you've seen one salad..."

"First Lady Lettuce goes missing, then Colonel Crouton followed by Reginald Radish... Great Caesar's Ghost! Someone is making a salad!"

'The vegetables sat in the crisper for hours...days...a whole week. Then suddenly, the drawer opened. A hand reached in, grabbed the kale, and all you could hear was the sound of...A Garbage disposal.'

"Waiter, can you find out if this hair in my arugula salad is locally harvested?"

Vegetables VS Junk Food.

"We only do salads. There's no need to keep warning customers that the plates are cold."

"I'm pleased to say our dishes all have too much kale."

An art director eats: 'Waiter! Does this lettuce say 'salad' to you?'

I can't believe I ate all that kale for nothing.

'Boy, when they say one trip salad bar, they MEAN one trip salad bar!'

"I want proof that I even need that much iron before I go eating all that spinach."

"Now hold on just a minute! Salad - fine! Chick flix - fine! But I draw the line on video games!"

'It's great that you made your own salad, dear, but those aren't croutons, they're dog kibbles.'

Please be gentle, waiter. This is my first salad. I'm sorry, sir, but there's a reason they call it "roughage."

'What! No garnish or side salad?'

"It's got lettuce and pickle...why can't we call it a salad."

"Would it help if I ate a salad?"

'One thing about your salads, I learn a lot about insects. You forgot to wash the lettuce again!'

"You're not being punished, Kenny...Salad is what we're having for dinner."

"If you want extra virgin oil on the salad that's a £5 supplement...."

"Putting a steak, chicken wings and potato chips on a salad kind of negates the eating healthy concept."

"Now, which one of the Thousand Islands is this?"

A waiter strictly adhering to his religion

I Hate Alphabet Soup.

"Do I like arugula? I love arugula!! Some of the best beaches in the world are there."

Anatomy of a Salad

'Thousand Island.'

"Now that's what I'm talking about."

Lager drinker and a vegetarian eating together.

Absolute Power Corrupts Absolutely.

"More salad?"

'On second thoughts I think I'll have salad.'

Afloat, only 20% of iceberg lettuce is visible.

'You know, that's really bleu cheese and not ranch. It's a cross dressing.'