Ranching Humor Gifts

'I don't know if she's gonna be much good. I don't think she's even registered.'

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

"If I'd known we'd be this long wandering the wilderness I would never have worn these heels."

A sure sign of rain

I fart more than that!

"We can do this the easy way or we can do it the hard way ..."

A Venus cow trap.

"Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're our only hope."

'How are you at thinking outside the flocks?'

"What do you mean I eat as though I was born in a barn? I WAS born in a barn."

"Year after year we sit here quietly raising eyebrows, son."

I told you not to use horse liniment as an underarm deoderant...

'Is it ok if I just bring in some of our carpet?'

'This is your third speeding ticket in a week. Sure your horse didn't get into some genetically modified hay?'

'Gee, at these prices you'd think they would tie the feedbags on for you.'

"Do you recognize the one who stole your tractor?"

'I met my wife on Faeces Book.'

COWS: Spare cow

Early American Think tank

Hedge of two moo cows

"I'm tired of having to apologize for the condition of the house."

'Of course there is room for advancement. You certainly can't go down from here.'

I think we need to lose the 'Singing Ringing Tree'!

"Is that a new watch?"

"I stink... therefore, I am."

Her Poo-Fu is strong!

Thanks for the tip. Come again!

"We're raising them for turkey bacon."

'He always gets that way when I ask him about our retirement plan,'

'I think I've worked out why they fed us so well.'

'Sure, they're invaders, but you have to agree: Those Vikings have great helmets!'

Clancy Strip: Out of Business

"Can you milk a cow?"