Cattle Rancher Humor Gifts

'I think I've worked out why they fed us so well.'

'Sure, they're invaders, but you have to agree: Those Vikings have great helmets!'

Hedge of two moo cows

A sure sign of rain

Motorherd

'Pass the salt, will ya, buddy?'

'How are you at thinking outside the flocks?'

Wow, I don't know why we don't sit down like this more often!

How Do You Like My Moseying Along?

"I prefer the mountains to the beach. I feel like less of a cow.''

"Year after year we sit here quietly raising eyebrows, son."

A Modern Day Cowboy and his Horse.

'How can anyone seriously believe that we sleep standing up and with our eyes open ,,,, Hello'

'This is your third speeding ticket in a week. Sure your horse didn't get into some genetically modified hay?'

'I don't know if she's gonna be much good. I don't think she's even registered.'

"Daddy says he got the promotion: We'll be able to afford to move to greener pastures!"

"You're not helping the methane problem, you know."

They're Brazillian!

YAAY! Slam dump!

'My wife, my rancher, his artificial insemination device!'

'Can't understand all this fuss over cattle growth hormones.'

'Name tag's up here, Ma'am - I'm from the Cattlemen's Delegation.

'WOOHOO! I love Methane!'

"Listen honey, I don't claim to be no expert but I reckon you're going about this cowpuncher thing the whole wrong way."

'He always gets that way when I ask him about our retirement plan,'

The Moo-Walk

Cattle barons for world domination.

"We're raising them for turkey bacon."

"Oh, God, it's the Herefords, pretend we don't see them."

'I'm a fat cattle buyer.'

"No one is making you do anything you don't want. I'm just saying we're all headed for Dodge City and we think you should come along."

"I said reach for the sky stranger. It's a figure of speech. I didn't mean literally!"

"Yeah, I'm an IVF baby too, and my sire's registration is CANM2044017 too! We're half brothers!"

"Never seeing another bucket is on my bucket list."