Livestock Humorist Gifts

"Don't look now, …. It's the other white meat."

"He's worth quite a bit of money but it's all tied up in semen.''

"No, I like the plan. Just saying, have you ever done any actual tunnelling?"

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

"Yes, they're hair extensions, but you have to agree, I look fabulous..."

"You're very lucky that gazelle gives me diarrhea."

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

"I see by your resume this would be your first time in a symbiotic relationship."

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

"Too much concealer?"

While old, sick, and weak animals remained targets, the lions most enjoyed culling the herd of its sarcastic teenagers.

Motorherd

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

'Whup - giant anaconda about to attack - quick Peg, hand me something to take care of it with.'

'Jurassic Pork.'

Hats and Food

'Henrietta is so self-confident.'

"Scuba cow"

"Yes, one is a dog."

'...Excuse me...Whoops, my fault!..Sorry!..You first...Pardon Me...Sorry...S'cuse me...Look out!...Pardon'

Burmese pythons discussing a complete invasion.

'Roy! For the last time, don't wave that red one in front of your Dad.'

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

"Oh no. Is that my ex?"

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

"Grass-cream! Thanks Mum!"

'Some dogs are meant to be working dogs and some aren't.'

"Yep. Looks like we have ringworm."

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

'Well, I guess we're the control group.'

'Pray for me.'

No jay walking.