Livestock Humorist Gifts

"Don't look now, …. It's the other white meat."

"He's worth quite a bit of money but it's all tied up in semen.''

"No, I like the plan. Just saying, have you ever done any actual tunnelling?"

"You're very lucky that gazelle gives me diarrhea."

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

"Yes, they're hair extensions, but you have to agree, I look fabulous..."

Bubble Gum Farms.

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

"Yes, one is a dog."

'Whup - giant anaconda about to attack - quick Peg, hand me something to take care of it with.'

Motorherd

"Too much concealer?"

"I see by your resume this would be your first time in a symbiotic relationship."

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

Hats and Food

While old, sick, and weak animals remained targets, the lions most enjoyed culling the herd of its sarcastic teenagers.

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

'Henrietta is so self-confident.'

"Scuba cow"

'...Excuse me...Whoops, my fault!..Sorry!..You first...Pardon Me...Sorry...S'cuse me...Look out!...Pardon'

'Jurassic Pork.'

Burmese pythons discussing a complete invasion.

'Roy! For the last time, don't wave that red one in front of your Dad.'

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

"Yep. Looks like we have ringworm."

"Grass-cream! Thanks Mum!"

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

'Some dogs are meant to be working dogs and some aren't.'

"Oh no. Is that my ex?"

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

'Well, I guess we're the control group.'

'Pray for me.'