Bovine Humorist Gifts

Stop! Mad cows are forbidden to cross the border!

The Cud Food Guide

'I've told you before: Don't let your tongue touch your nose-ring when it's very cold!'

Cow to business man: 'The neck sack is loaded with moolah. Say hello to your cash cow.'

Grass: We lost some good men today!

Moo! OOM!

Funk Facts:Cows.

"You can achieve anything if you put you mind to it."

Working from home

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

Dog Hunting Trophies.

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

Bubble Gum Farms.

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

For speedy operation and ease of control get a pony.

'...Excuse me...Whoops, my fault!..Sorry!..You first...Pardon Me...Sorry...S'cuse me...Look out!...Pardon'

Hats and Food

'Jurassic Pork.'

"Scuba cow"

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

Motorherd

"Yes, one is a dog."

'Roy! For the last time, don't wave that red one in front of your Dad.'

"Yep. Looks like we have ringworm."

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

"Grass-cream! Thanks Mum!"

'Well, I guess we're the control group.'

"That product you are using is fantastic. Your eye bags are gone."

No jay walking.

'Mom and dad...if someone threw a rock at me, it would really be like killing two birds with one stone.' 'I told you if we had a child, he'd be a wise-quacker.'

'Settle an argument. Which is better incessant barking or meowing?'

"All you're doing is emboldening cats."