Bovine Comedian Gifts

"I want you to cut down on the salt lick!"

Cattle Grid

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

Cloud Cuckoo Land, Hamburger bar, "I don't like the look of this Charlie"

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

"No no, I said sit!!"

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

"Why, you little Shih Tzu."

'Hey Harry, you know you've been walking around with a biscuit on your nose for the last two hours?'

Bubble Gum Farms.

'Table scraps, doggie-bag goodies, dropped hot dogs, the cat's dish of food and your master's slippers.'

Cow Show Tunes

Tiny dog catches frisbee that spins him around in circles.

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

'Just taking the dog for a walk, Dear.'

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

Motorherd

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

Obedience School Graduation

'Roy! For the last time, don't wave that red one in front of your Dad.'

His Master's Thesis.

'Oh, oh, a pack of dogs! Stand still amd maybe they won't notice us.'

'...and remember, son, never throw up on an old carpet...wait until they get a new one!'

"My owner is teaching me to think before barking, which gave Federal Express plenty of time to clobber me."

"I finally caught you... now what?"

"The article says there was a break-in at the museum last night. I don't suppose you know anything about that."

Woman leaves dog in rain...he gets into a car to wait in the dry.

"....And what's the deal with fetch? You want the stick or don't you? Make up your mind already!"

Dogs life

"No I said fetch , not wretch.."

'You're supposed to just lick the cone!'

'Technically, he's on a leash, so I say we let this one go.'

"Well, that will never be a yoga pose."

"I see you mister mail carrier... that's it, just keep walking... don't even think abo—did you just look at my house?! Are you looking for trouble? Cujo ain't got #!@* on me."

"Wow, what a DILF."