Cow Comedian Gifts

Bubble Gum Farms.

'Roy! For the last time, don't wave that red one in front of your Dad.'

"What do you mean I eat as though I was born in a barn? I WAS born in a barn."

"Oh, the irony! I've become lactose intolerant."

Snowman carrot substitute.

"Stop WAFTING!"

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

Cloud Cuckoo Land, Hamburger bar, "I don't like the look of this Charlie"

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

"No no, I said sit!!"

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

'Hey Harry, you know you've been walking around with a biscuit on your nose for the last two hours?'

"Why, you little Shih Tzu."

'Table scraps, doggie-bag goodies, dropped hot dogs, the cat's dish of food and your master's slippers.'

Cow Show Tunes

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

Tiny dog catches frisbee that spins him around in circles.

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

Motorherd

'Just taking the dog for a walk, Dear.'

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

Obedience School Graduation

His Master's Thesis.

"....And what's the deal with fetch? You want the stick or don't you? Make up your mind already!"

"My owner is teaching me to think before barking, which gave Federal Express plenty of time to clobber me."

Moo Out Loud

Dogs life

"I finally caught you... now what?"

'Oh, oh, a pack of dogs! Stand still amd maybe they won't notice us.'

"The article says there was a break-in at the museum last night. I don't suppose you know anything about that."

Woman leaves dog in rain...he gets into a car to wait in the dry.

'...and remember, son, never throw up on an old carpet...wait until they get a new one!'

"No I said fetch , not wretch.."

'You're supposed to just lick the cone!'

"I see you mister mail carrier... that's it, just keep walking... don't even think abo—did you just look at my house?! Are you looking for trouble? Cujo ain't got #!@* on me."