Cattle Comedian Gifts

'My wife, my rancher, his artificial insemination device!'

Motorherd

Cloud Cuckoo Land, Hamburger bar, "I don't like the look of this Charlie"

Cow Show Tunes

'Roy! For the last time, don't wave that red one in front of your Dad.'

"Will you stop telling me to feed the Zebras? We just ate the zebras!"

Cow writer.

'I can tell you one thing, Madam. These ears have been neglected...

Moo! OOM!

'Lord, we thank thee for the bounty we're about to receive.'

"What do you mean I eat as though I was born in a barn? I WAS born in a barn."

Fish swimming in a pint of beer.

Snowman carrot substitute.

"You can achieve anything if you put you mind to it."

Grass: We lost some good men today!

"The party was a total surprise! Everybody jumped out and screamed 'Happy Birthday' just as I was licking my balls!"

"Can I barrow your pen?"

"I can't wait to see the look on their faces."

"The human is back - act normal."

"Okay, okay - next time I'll spring the trap and you grab the cheese."

YAAY! Slam dump!

"Did you just tweet?"

A centi-stampede.

The Cud Food Guide

Hedge of two moo cows

"I get aroused when I see you in leather."

'Bad news is Tim Turkey is dead, the good news is I've made a wish!'

"I didn't mean to trample him. How do you say 'my bad' in human?"

"Sometimes I get a craving for sushi."

"I'll share the house with you assuming you prefer to be outdoors."

'Im going to invest all your pension money in cat nip!'

'I think I've worked out why they fed us so well.'

'They can't fool me, I know when they hide medicine in my food: I have an acute sense of smell!'

'How come you never bring meatballs?'

'Sure, they're invaders, but you have to agree: Those Vikings have great helmets!'