Cattle Comedian Pillows

Cow in a vest: Well, I think I look like Bruce Willis!

'My wife, my rancher, his artificial insemination device!'

Motorherd

Cloud Cuckoo Land, Hamburger bar, "I don't like the look of this Charlie"

Bubble Gum Farms.

Cow Show Tunes

'Roy! For the last time, don't wave that red one in front of your Dad.'

"Will you stop telling me to feed the Zebras? We just ate the zebras!"

Cow writer.

'I can tell you one thing, Madam. These ears have been neglected...

Moo! OOM!

'Lord, we thank thee for the bounty we're about to receive.'

Fish swimming in a pint of beer.

"What do you mean I eat as though I was born in a barn? I WAS born in a barn."

Grass: We lost some good men today!

Snowman carrot substitute.

"The party was a total surprise! Everybody jumped out and screamed 'Happy Birthday' just as I was licking my balls!"

"You can achieve anything if you put you mind to it."

The Cud Food Guide

"I get aroused when I see you in leather."

Hedge of two moo cows

'Bad news is Tim Turkey is dead, the good news is I've made a wish!'

"I can't wait to see the look on their faces."

A centi-stampede.

"Can I barrow your pen?"

YAAY! Slam dump!

"Did you just tweet?"

"Okay, okay - next time I'll spring the trap and you grab the cheese."

"The human is back - act normal."

"I didn't mean to trample him. How do you say 'my bad' in human?"

"Sometimes I get a craving for sushi."

"I'll share the house with you assuming you prefer to be outdoors."

Feed & Grain. Credit Cards and E-Payments Only. Being a cash cow is tougher than it used to be.

'Im going to invest all your pension money in cat nip!'

'They can't fool me, I know when they hide medicine in my food: I have an acute sense of smell!'