Cattle Humorist Pillows

'You reap what you sow! Who knew?'

Cloud Cuckoo Land, Hamburger bar, "I don't like the look of this Charlie"

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

Motorherd

"Scuba cow"

Hats and Food

'...Excuse me...Whoops, my fault!..Sorry!..You first...Pardon Me...Sorry...S'cuse me...Look out!...Pardon'

"Yes, one is a dog."

'Jurassic Pork.'

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

'Roy! For the last time, don't wave that red one in front of your Dad.'

"Yep. Looks like we have ringworm."

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

"Grass-cream! Thanks Mum!"

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

'Well, I guess we're the control group.'

No jay walking.

"That product you are using is fantastic. Your eye bags are gone."

"Toadstool you say? No, this is snailstool now!"

"Did you know he'd joined a squirrel watchers club?"

"I think I'm beginning to embrace humiliation."

"You might want to start bringing more carrots home, dear. I think I have an ingrown hare."

'Bird Watching is fun, but it tends to make me salivate...'

Northeastern Deer/Southwestern Deer

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

'Settle an argument. Which is better incessant barking or meowing?'

"Hey! There's a hair in my soup!"

"All you're doing is emboldening cats."

'Cat job interviews.'

Cow writer.