Farm Animal Humorist Pillows

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"No, I like the plan. Just saying, have you ever done any actual tunnelling?"

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

'Wake up, dear...did you order extra milk?!'

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

"Yes, one is a dog."

A sure sign of rain

'Jurassic Pork.'

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

'Henrietta is so self-confident.'

'...Excuse me...Whoops, my fault!..Sorry!..You first...Pardon Me...Sorry...S'cuse me...Look out!...Pardon'

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

Hats and Food

"Scuba cow"

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

"Yep. Looks like we have ringworm."

"Grass-cream! Thanks Mum!"

'Some dogs are meant to be working dogs and some aren't.'

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

'Well, I guess we're the control group.'

No jay walking.

"That product you are using is fantastic. Your eye bags are gone."

"Toadstool you say? No, this is snailstool now!"

'Bird Watching is fun, but it tends to make me salivate...'

Northeastern Deer/Southwestern Deer

"Did you know he'd joined a squirrel watchers club?"

"You might want to start bringing more carrots home, dear. I think I have an ingrown hare."

"Static cling."

'Settle an argument. Which is better incessant barking or meowing?'

"Hey! There's a hair in my soup!"

"All you're doing is emboldening cats."