Cow Humorist Gifts

A Reversing Cow

'I prefer the term 'Poo Fairy'!'

Feed & Grain. Credit Cards and E-Payments Only. Being a cash cow is tougher than it used to be.

YAAY! Slam dump!

'We have an exit strategy, but you're not going to like it!'

Organic cowpies!

"Yes, the grass is greener on the other side, but significantly sparser too, so it's a toss-up really...."

Cloud Cuckoo Land, Hamburger bar, "I don't like the look of this Charlie"

Dog Hunting Trophies.

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

Bubble Gum Farms.

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

Cow Show Tunes

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

"He's no hat and all corgis."

Motorherd

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

'Jurassic Pork.'

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

"Yes, one is a dog."

'...Excuse me...Whoops, my fault!..Sorry!..You first...Pardon Me...Sorry...S'cuse me...Look out!...Pardon'

Hats and Food

"Scuba cow"

'Roy! For the last time, don't wave that red one in front of your Dad.'

'I'd like to return this, please.'

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

"Yep. Looks like we have ringworm."

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

"Grass-cream! Thanks Mum!"

'Well, I guess we're the control group.'

No jay walking.

'Mom and dad...if someone threw a rock at me, it would really be like killing two birds with one stone.' 'I told you if we had a child, he'd be a wise-quacker.'

"That product you are using is fantastic. Your eye bags are gone."