Cow-themed Humorist Gifts

Cow writer.

Cloud Cuckoo Land, Hamburger bar, "I don't like the look of this Charlie"

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

Cow Show Tunes

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

Motorherd

'Jurassic Pork.'

'...Excuse me...Whoops, my fault!..Sorry!..You first...Pardon Me...Sorry...S'cuse me...Look out!...Pardon'

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

"Yes, one is a dog."

Hats and Food

"Scuba cow"

'Roy! For the last time, don't wave that red one in front of your Dad.'

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

"Yep. Looks like we have ringworm."

"Grass-cream! Thanks Mum!"

Moo Out Loud

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

'Well, I guess we're the control group.'

No jay walking.

"That product you are using is fantastic. Your eye bags are gone."

"Toadstool you say? No, this is snailstool now!"

"Did you know he'd joined a squirrel watchers club?"

'Bird Watching is fun, but it tends to make me salivate...'

Northeastern Deer/Southwestern Deer

"I think I'm beginning to embrace humiliation."

"You might want to start bringing more carrots home, dear. I think I have an ingrown hare."

'Settle an argument. Which is better incessant barking or meowing?'

"Hey! There's a hair in my soup!"

"All you're doing is emboldening cats."

'Cat job interviews.'