Ranch Humorists Gifts

'Havin' a favorite cow is one thing, but that's downright ridiculous.'

"No, I like the plan. Just saying, have you ever done any actual tunnelling?"

'Little Yank' Calf Puller.

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

'Cool! Brownstar Wars!'

'Henrietta is so self-confident.'

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

'Some dogs are meant to be working dogs and some aren't.'

I fart more than that!

'Pass the salt, will ya, buddy?'

"Static cling."

A Venus cow trap.

'Mother, there's something you're not telling me about that alien invasion, I can feel it!'

"Don't be so dramatic. You tell me you're pregnant every day?"

"Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're our only hope."

"That was definitely mine."

Emergency room doctor about half cow: 'Farming accident. Be sensitive - she's beside herself.'

'MEN! We've got a fire at the cattle shed! Do we want rare, medium or well done?'

'It's negative attention ... as long as you keep asking why, they'll keep on doing it.'

"What do you mean I eat as though I was born in a barn? I WAS born in a barn."

'I promise, you're not crossing to the Dark Side.'

I told you not to use horse liniment as an underarm deoderant...

'With proper flossing there's no reason for hens to not have teeth.'

"Year after year we sit here quietly raising eyebrows, son."

"Ok, let's try it one last time. It's 'Ahhhhhh'..."

"He keeps watching over our flock. I think it's a stalker."

'Is it ok if I just bring in some of our carpet?'

'I met my wife on Faeces Book.'

"Do you recognize the one who stole your tractor?"

COWS: Spare cow

'She says her stomachs ache.'

Early American Think tank

Grassy breath?

Cow asks the horse for the carrot.