Rancher Humorist Gifts

"What do you mean I eat as though I was born in a barn? I WAS born in a barn."

"Well if I can't be a cowboy I'll be a lawyer for cowboys."

'Little Yank' Calf Puller.

'Steak Ted?'

'Life is great' down on the farm.

New Guy.

'Do you think he's ready for the big round-up?'

'I was just playing rodeo and breaking horses.'

'Cow in love'

If a bunch of crazy red headed clowns come out that door...Run like you've never ran before!

"They're comfortable."

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

"The note in the bottle said someone's stranded here, but where is he?"

'Awright...Who's the dirty, lowdown varmint who's copyin' my plaid-shirt-and-stone-wash-jeans-with-matching-boots-and-vest ensemble?'

A man in a car waits for a large herd of cows to cross the road; once they have crossed he finds a cow sitting in the passenger seat of his car.

"It's not a good sign when cowboys start waving back to the cacti!"

'This is rodeo history! No one's ever stayed on the Dancing Bronco this long!'

'I had to overcome stereotypical misunderstandings about who makes a good leader.'

"It's my home grown quail call. Quail don't come when I blow it, but cows sure do."

'Remember the...um...the...uh...oh, yeah...remember the Alamo!'

"You keep fumblin' with that bra, Cowboy, and you're never gettin' to second base."

The Great Lamington Drive of 1892 - Lamingtons are being herded like cattle across the plains by cowboys... or lamingtonboys.

'Call me in the morning. In the afternoon, I'm out in the field.'

"It's a cow thing. You wouldn't understand."

I fart more than that!

"Excuse me, but I believe you are in my seat."

'Some dogs are meant to be working dogs and some aren't.'

High Riders of the Old West

"They haven't mated yet, but I think we're getting close."

"I always knew you'd come back."

Twister:Rural Social Networking

"Kid gloves, Hernandez. You gotta use kid gloves!"

'OK, let's see who's going to be the pack horse today: Heads or tails?'

"Yup! Its time to feed the cattle."

"Waving the hat keeps the cattle moving and lets my hair get some highlights."