Hunter-gatherer Humorist Gifts

Ha-ha, it's true! Hunters are from a faraway place, gatherers are from

It's not as sexy as hunting or gathering, but I'm the guy who makes sense of it all.

Deer Season Open.

'Missed again, eh, Bob? Maybe you should switch to decaf!'

"I say it's Kale, and I say it's spinaches shitfaced uncle."

"I wanted to plant my own food, but I couldn't find bacon seeds!"

From Hunter-Gatherer to Influencer: The Evolution of the Dignity of Labor

'Yes, the treestand's maximum weight capacity is 300 pounds, you weigh 301 pounds.'

Inflatable Duck Boat

Daffodil bulbs

'Now that hunting season is over, I'd suggest separate vacations.'

Book: 'From prey to predator in 30 days.'

'Cycle shop' selling puncture repair kits next door to a 'Sex shop' selling inflatable dolls

'The owner plays in the NBA.'

'Looks like we're dealing with a mule deer infestation. I can get rid of them, but you'll have to wait until they're in season!'

'You got twenty years for hunting without a license? Kind of stiff, isn't it?'

From Hunter-Gatherer to Influencer: The Evolution of the Dignity of Labor

"What do you mean I eat as though I was born in a barn? I WAS born in a barn."

'What makes you think the basement leaks?'

"Listen, the first pterodactyl of spring."

Surreal Ale Pub.

'Can I see your license,please?'

'Vacuums!'

'It appears to be some sort of staff development presentation.'

"My client alleges attempted hit, run and bbq."

Just Survived My 3rd COVID Scare Dance.

'I need three estimates before I appoint an estate agent.' - 'Right, £120,000, £130,000 and £140,000.'

Trap set by bear to catch hunter.

'Pass the ball, Kevin Don't try to dribble your way out of trouble'

Reindeer hiding from hunter

'Of course, I'm proud of you but I don't think he would be a healthy after school snack.'

Stuffed animal head falls on man.

Smiley

'Any idea where my night vision visor is?'

'You're being ridiculous, Bob - I have NOT been ogling the 12 point buck!'