Hunter-gatherer Humorist Gifts

It's not as sexy as hunting or gathering, but I'm the guy who makes sense of it all.

"I say it's Kale, and I say it's spinaches shitfaced uncle."

"I wanted to plant my own food, but I couldn't find bacon seeds!"

'Missed again, eh, Bob? Maybe you should switch to decaf!'

Inflatable Duck Boat

'Yes, the treestand's maximum weight capacity is 300 pounds, you weigh 301 pounds.'

Book: 'From prey to predator in 30 days.'

'Now that hunting season is over, I'd suggest separate vacations.'

Daffodil bulbs

'Cycle shop' selling puncture repair kits next door to a 'Sex shop' selling inflatable dolls

'The owner plays in the NBA.'

'You got twenty years for hunting without a license? Kind of stiff, isn't it?'

'Looks like we're dealing with a mule deer infestation. I can get rid of them, but you'll have to wait until they're in season!'

"What do you mean I eat as though I was born in a barn? I WAS born in a barn."

'What makes you think the basement leaks?'

'Can I see your license,please?'

'Vacuums!'

Surreal Ale Pub.

"Listen, the first pterodactyl of spring."

'It appears to be some sort of staff development presentation.'

'I need three estimates before I appoint an estate agent.' - 'Right, £120,000, £130,000 and £140,000.'

Just Survived My 3rd COVID Scare Dance.

"My client alleges attempted hit, run and bbq."

Trap set by bear to catch hunter.

'You're being ridiculous, Bob - I have NOT been ogling the 12 point buck!'

'Of course, I'm proud of you but I don't think he would be a healthy after school snack.'

Smiley

Reindeer hiding from hunter

'Any idea where my night vision visor is?'

'Pass the ball, Kevin Don't try to dribble your way out of trouble'

"Look! He's found my scent!"

"And that one I tagged with a flamethrower from ten yards."