House Hunter Humorist Gifts

Estate Agents.

'The owner plays in the NBA.'

The reason for the real estate slump.

House for free - 'Too much'!

'What makes you think the basement leaks?'

'I'm sorry, but all we have in your price range are a few bales of hay.'

'Has this one got cavity walls?' 'Only since the rats moved in.'

'I see this one is detached. Yes, the ones on either side fell down.'

'I need three estimates before I appoint an estate agent.' - 'Right, £120,000, £130,000 and £140,000.'

'This property enjoys excellent natural light. Except at nightime.'

'And this, of course, is the kitchen sinkhole.'

"Excuse me, I'm thinking of buying the house next door. Could you tell me, have you got any Civil injunctions or criminal behaviour orders?"

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

'Now then - I just wanted to see how you handle pressure, Mr. Boyle.'

'Missed again, eh, Bob? Maybe you should switch to decaf!'

'Yes, the treestand's maximum weight capacity is 300 pounds, you weigh 301 pounds.'

Inflatable Duck Boat

'The roof needs icing.'

'Now that hunting season is over, I'd suggest separate vacations.'

"I think we could be very happy here until we aren't."

Book: 'From prey to predator in 30 days.'

Estate Agent showing client his parents' house - '...and here's one from our affordable homes range'

Emigrating to France.

Realtors: 'We make house calls'.

Jet flies by. 'And of course it's handy for the airport.'

'It's a long and narrow home: A perfect fit for you Mr Eel...'

Mouse real estate!

Estate Agent - This house that's 'just what we are looking for' is ours

'You got twenty years for hunting without a license? Kind of stiff, isn't it?'

'Looks like we're dealing with a mule deer infestation. I can get rid of them, but you'll have to wait until they're in season!'

Vocation,vocation,vocation.

'The owners are a bunch of clowns.'

"I'm tired of this cave. I want a condo!"

'...and the property lies in a beautiful valley by the banks of the river...'

Home Foreclosed Home.