Home Hunting Humorist Gifts

Vocation,vocation,vocation.

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

'Missed again, eh, Bob? Maybe you should switch to decaf!'

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

"I feel like tearing of all your clothes and putting them in the washing machine."

Yard Sale

Inflatable Duck Boat

'Yes, the treestand's maximum weight capacity is 300 pounds, you weigh 301 pounds.'

"Since you had so much fun with the Home Equity Loan I gave you, this year's stocking will be filled with a shiny new Notice of Foreclosure."

'Oh, Olivia, I just love your new caption! Where on earth did you find it?'

Estate Agent showing client his parents' house - '...and here's one from our affordable homes range'

"Actually, 'Loss of Limb' would be covered under your homeowners policy."

It's from the homeowners association --- They want me to stop leaving my worries on the doorstep.

'The owner plays in the NBA.'

'Beware you don't trip over him!'

Mouse real estate!

'You got twenty years for hunting without a license? Kind of stiff, isn't it?'

Shakespeare Ave

'The owners are a bunch of clowns.'

Attack of the 65 - Inch Woman

'It isn't supposed to taste good. It's furniture polish.'

'What makes you think the basement leaks?'

'I put lint tape all over his onesie so that, as he crawls around, he picks up the dog hair.'

'She let the bedbugs bite.'

'Can I see your license,please?'

Carpet Cows

'Classic literature for D.I.Y. haters'

"Wow . . . We could really fill this room with uncomfortable silences."

"Well, as a matter of fact, no, you didn't tell us you kept exotic pets when you sold us the house!"

'You may be the CEO of a large corporation, but at home you're an OMW, observe my whims!'

VARIOUS ITEMS OF LABELLED KITCHENWARE.

Need something from the fridge? This looks like a job for...Indoorman!

"Apparently he told Chris Tarrant it was just enough to pay off his mortgage!"

"My client alleges attempted hit, run and bbq."