House Hunt Humorist Gifts

"I adore it. It's so near Schrafft's."

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

'Missed again, eh, Bob? Maybe you should switch to decaf!'

"I feel like tearing of all your clothes and putting them in the washing machine."

Tidy it up for the open house, and it wouldn't hurt to put out some freshly regurgitated worms. For sale.

'Yes, the treestand's maximum weight capacity is 300 pounds, you weigh 301 pounds.'

Inflatable Duck Boat

Yard Sale

'Oh, Olivia, I just love your new caption! Where on earth did you find it?'

Book: 'From prey to predator in 30 days.'

Estate Agent showing client his parents' house - '...and here's one from our affordable homes range'

It's from the homeowners association --- They want me to stop leaving my worries on the doorstep.

'The owner plays in the NBA.'

Shakespeare Ave

Mouse real estate!

'You got twenty years for hunting without a license? Kind of stiff, isn't it?'

'Beware you don't trip over him!'

'The owners are a bunch of clowns.'

Vocation,vocation,vocation.

'What makes you think the basement leaks?'

'It isn't supposed to taste good. It's furniture polish.'

'Classic literature for D.I.Y. haters'

'She let the bedbugs bite.'

Carpet Cows

'Can I see your license,please?'

"Well, as a matter of fact, no, you didn't tell us you kept exotic pets when you sold us the house!"

VARIOUS ITEMS OF LABELLED KITCHENWARE.

Need something from the fridge? This looks like a job for...Indoorman!

It looks like wood, but it's actually vinyl siding.

'I need three estimates before I appoint an estate agent.' - 'Right, £120,000, £130,000 and £140,000.'

Oh, one door closes, another opens -- How have you been?

'You may be the CEO of a large corporation, but at home you're an OMW, observe my whims!'

"My client alleges attempted hit, run and bbq."

"You rang?"