House Hunting Humorist Gifts

'And this is the sunken living room.'

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

Estate Agent showing client his parents' house - '...and here's one from our affordable homes range'

"I thought we'd start by looking at some properties that are way over your budget. Just to give you an idea of what you'll have to settle for."

'Is this the open house?'

Estate Agent trying to rip off client by charging three times the rent.

"The house has a very open floor plan."

'That's not subsidence. That's land rising up on either side.'

'These prices make a mockery of our Monopoly board!'

Mouse real estate!

For Sale! Washington DC Realty - 'Perfect for House Arrest'.

"You misunderstood me. I didn't say it had a walk-in closet, I said it was a walk in closet."

Man receiving key to false house

The Clintons House Hunting, Hillary - It's perfect! and I've got just the place for you Bill..

Unreal Estate.

A realtor shows a couple around a crazy golf course

'We did have a house in your bracket, but we sold it in 1932.'

Love the house. Hate the location.

"His market is particularly reliant on the oligarchs so, due to recent events, I am authorized to sell it you for whatever happens to be in your pocket right now."

'Missed again, eh, Bob? Maybe you should switch to decaf!'

'Yes, the treestand's maximum weight capacity is 300 pounds, you weigh 301 pounds.'

Inflatable Duck Boat

'Is the fire included?'

'The owner plays in the NBA.'

Shakespeare Ave

'You got twenty years for hunting without a license? Kind of stiff, isn't it?'

'The owners are a bunch of clowns.'

Vocation,vocation,vocation.

'What makes you think the basement leaks?'

'Can I see your license,please?'

"Wow . . . We could really fill this room with uncomfortable silences."

'It seems good, and he said the bit at the bottom is the name of the architect.'

See the house whose property taxes were raised

"Well, as a matter of fact, no, you didn't tell us you kept exotic pets when you sold us the house!"

Oh, one door closes, another opens -- How have you been?