Home Hunt Humorist Gifts

'Don't worry about your daughter Sir: I'll find us a dump to live in...'

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

"Liable to flooding? Whatever gives you that idea sir?"

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

'Missed again, eh, Bob? Maybe you should switch to decaf!'

"I feel like tearing of all your clothes and putting them in the washing machine."

Yard Sale

'Yes, the treestand's maximum weight capacity is 300 pounds, you weigh 301 pounds.'

Inflatable Duck Boat

'Oh, Olivia, I just love your new caption! Where on earth did you find it?'

Estate Agent showing client his parents' house - '...and here's one from our affordable homes range'

'The owner plays in the NBA.'

It's from the homeowners association --- They want me to stop leaving my worries on the doorstep.

'You got twenty years for hunting without a license? Kind of stiff, isn't it?'

Mouse real estate!

'Beware you don't trip over him!'

Shakespeare Ave

Attack of the 65 - Inch Woman

'The owners are a bunch of clowns.'

Vocation,vocation,vocation.

'It isn't supposed to taste good. It's furniture polish.'

'What makes you think the basement leaks?'

Carpet Cows

'Classic literature for D.I.Y. haters'

'Can I see your license,please?'

'She let the bedbugs bite.'

'I put lint tape all over his onesie so that, as he crawls around, he picks up the dog hair.'

"Wow . . . We could really fill this room with uncomfortable silences."

"Well, as a matter of fact, no, you didn't tell us you kept exotic pets when you sold us the house!"

'I need three estimates before I appoint an estate agent.' - 'Right, £120,000, £130,000 and £140,000.'

'You may be the CEO of a large corporation, but at home you're an OMW, observe my whims!'

Need something from the fridge? This looks like a job for...Indoorman!

"My client alleges attempted hit, run and bbq."

VARIOUS ITEMS OF LABELLED KITCHENWARE.

'Home-made pie will be quick, I only live 10 minutes from here.'